Posted by: 103rdtransferwife | May 5, 2010

Retail Therapy

389 days remain with my bed half empty. And it is half empty, not half full.

So my husband gets a 4 day pass to come home before they go to Iraq. I am so excited. I have a million things to do before he comes home, but feel like I can’t get started, so I went shopping instead.

We’ve learned from past military separations that, frankly, I like to spend when he’s not home. I’ve over spent on care packages, and I’ve over spent on all sorts of things for me and our daughter, now blog named Poppet. Oh the things I’ve bought on Etsy, Ebay, iTunes, at the local AAFES, etc, etc, etc. Example, when he went for a 6 month school, I bought all 7 seasons of Star Trek: Voyager off of Ebay.

So this time we got smart. While we are doing some major debt paying off, in our budget there are lines for care packages and shipping them, and retail therapy has it’s own line. So my “need” to shop now is not a budget buster, and it no longer is a secret.

So yesterday I went to Bed Bath and Beyond. Oh, how I love that store. I got a very cute, yes pink is involved, shower curtain. I put half that expense under house hold, as we needed an new one, and half under my retail therapy, as I could have easily gotten a shower curtain for less somewhere else. I got those awesome shower curtain clips like they have in hotels, the ones with the roller balls. Those are nice. I purchased some new soap dishes and the like to match. I also got a new body pillow, to help take up the empty space in my bed. I also got a small frame to put a picture of my husband in to keep by my bed. I also purchased a really awesome laptop lap table. I am using it right now, and makes having the laptop in my bed so much more comfortable.

I did get some needed preparation done. For one thing I went to my doctor and got a refill of my Xanax. I’m very conflicted about taking the Xanax, but it helps. I have severe depression, well managed on an antidepressant. I’ve been on this medication for years, and honestly accept it as part of my life, much like a diabetic accepts insulin as part of their daily routine. But the Xanax is new, and I have all sorts of feelings about needing it, namely that I’m weak for how rampant my anxiety is right now. Now before anyone accuses me of being a pill popping junkie, let me state that I’ve seen my primary care physician for years, she knows what’s going on in my life, and she told me she couldn’t have gotten through her husband’s deployment with out Xanax either. She’s been treating me and my depression for years, and I see her at least every 6 months for medication management. So it’s not like I’m doctor shopping or anything like that. She was very kind and gave me 2 months of birth control, no pap smear required. I’ll have to do it when I come in for my medication check up. I don’t want to get pregnant while he’s home on leave. It would be a very bad time to get pregnant at the beginning of the deployment. Suffice it to say, Poppet’s pregnancy was high risk, involved a long bed rest stay, and was emotionally draining. We’ve talked about trying for another baby when he comes home on R&R, but that will depend on several things, including when his R&R is scheduled. So getting the refills was a very important thing to do, and one I am glad I have accomplished.

I also ordered some pretty lingerie to wear to the airport to pick him up. That drives him nuts knowing I’m looking special for him, but he can’t touch because we have to get his baggage, but he loves it. Once he nearly went bonkers on the Delta agent because they lost his luggage and he wanted to get home, NOW. Smile.

Also in preparation for his leave, I asked my mom to watch Poppet for us for 2 nights. He lands very late in the evening when he comes home. The next day is our 11th anniversary. We need the time alone. I booked us a room in a local themed bed and breakfast. Totally overpriced. I am still trying to figure out what to do about that. Between his airfare and the room, this leave will cost us nearly a $1000. For the record, with both our incomes, we are living very comfortably, so we can afford it, but still that’s a pretty penny. I’d pay any amount to have him home with us for those 4 days, so I don’t want anyone to think I’m complaining about the airfare. What I’m unsure about is the amount being spent on the bed and breakfast.

In preparation for when he leaves, I arranged a Patriot Guard send off for him. He won’t be coming home again after his leave until his R&R. That thought makes me cry. I’ll be very honest, I love the Patriot Guard. They are a wonderful group of people. The lady I talked to thanked me for my sacrifice, and that too made me cry. Sometimes, I really think military families get ignored. We aren’t as visible, don’t wear uniforms or have rank. We don’t get any medals. We just take care of the home. There’s not much glamor in changing the litter box or taking out the trash, chores which were my husband’s responsibility, and dang it, I can smell the litter box and I have to change it. ICK. I still have house cleaning to do before I can call and get the maid service, because the house got pretty unorganized during the break in his trainings.

I checked and my package arrived at the base this morning. I hope the turn around to get it to him is quick. He could use the boost.

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